I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining examples of the teachings of a course in miracles acim, and fo the very first time in an extended while, I do not feel alone.
Part of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I could be doing so for the incorrect reason; as a means to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to fairly share was not yet clear in those days; only on the drive away made it happen coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have let you see inside. Don’t are interested troubling your mind, won’t you let it be?” This confused me as I possibly could not consider whatever I’d said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I’d in visiting the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere having its residents’satisfaction, by just my presence alone. This belief that I possibly could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored lots of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief will be (has been?) released.
You will find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.