I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining types of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for initially in a long while, I don’t feel alone.
Element of me wanted to stay longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I would be this for the incorrect reason; as a way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to talk about was not yet clear during those times; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have let you see inside acim teacher. Don’t want it troubling your mind, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I really could not think of something that I’d said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I’d in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere with its residents’reassurance, by simply my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored lots of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief has been (has been?) released.
You can find other issues that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.